It would be rude not too

Being a coeliac has got easier – in the three years since I’ve been anti gluten there have been loads of new products for me to eat. Which is great, except I keep eating them. The ones that mostly catch my eye are the cakes and biscuits. If I notice something is gluten free, I buy it! It’d just be rude not to!

The effect this is having on my waistline is catastrophic!

Eating endless packets of Pom Bears just because it says ‘Gluten Free’ on the front of the bag is not going to make me look like Kate Moss. Buying loads of Thorthons chocolate just because it says ‘Suitable for a gluten free diet’ on the packet, isn’t going to get me into the size tens!

When I found gluten free brownies at the farmers market one Saturday, I had to get one. I even tried to save it for later, but actually ended up eating it in a sports shop while my boyfriend tried on running shoes. A particular low point.

So I’ve joined the gym, and am actually going! The perfect solution! Everything in moderation, a little bit of what you fancy and loads of gluten free goodies!

Did I cause the credit crunch?

Some of my friends still can't get their heads around me not drinking beer. On more than one occasion I've been brought back a pint from the bar, but I suspect this may be so they have an excuse to down two pints.

I was indeed a fan of a few pints of Stella, I loved nothing more than a nice cold Kroneburg, and was especially partial to a Fruli strawberry beer.

But I didn't expect me having coeliac disease could cause a global economic meltdown!! Yesterday's dramatic credit crunch headline was that beer sales have dramatically fallen in the last year and pubs are in crisis.

I can't help feeling like I've let the side down. Just expect cider and wine sales to rocket sky high soon!

Glastonbury 2008

If there is one place in the world that I don’t want to get glutened and spend extensive amounts of time in the toilet, it’s at Glastonbury festival! So with the knowledge I would be paying £4 for a plain jacket potato, I packed a few rice cakes in with my wellies and loo rolls.

I stumbled across Risotto2Go (after stumbling away from the Brothers Cider bar). Its ‘nice rice’ and soups were gluten free and by the Sunday night of the festival I had become a regular and ate enough risotto to earn myself a free bowl.

Another highlight of the festival was Honeybun’s café which had gluten free cakes and is home to the best caramel slice on the planet.

Oh I saw a few bands too and managed to avoid Amy Winehouse’s right hook. My favourites were Operator Please, fellow Devonian Seth Lakeman, the Wombats and the Duke Spirit.

Here Today, Glooooten Tomorrow

As an addict of Creme Eggs, I couldn't wait to try the new 'Twisted' variety. They would feed my addiction all year round, not just twice-daily during the Easter period. Since seeing it on Snackspot, I hung around Woolies, waiting for my fix.

But after being faced with a 'may contain gluten' warning I will be going cold turkey. I'm most concerned on the repercussions this may have on the Creme Egg in it's purest form. I might book my place in the Priory early for next Easter...

Christmas is cancelled. I've just eaten Rudolf

Rumour has it that you can buy gluten free Big Macs in Finland, but I refuse to eat Macdonald's on holiday, and insist on trying traditional dishes of the country, like reindeer for example.

We didn't go to Lapland but found a log cabin styled restaurant in Helsinki called Lappi that looked just like you see on Noel's Christmas Presents. I had sautéed Reindeer and mash with these red berry things. It was very nice and I didn't feel too guilty about scoffing one of Santa's trusty friends. While I'm confessing to eating cute things, I may as well get the puffin I ate in Iceland of my chest too.



Local delicacies dealt with, I managed to eat perfectly normally in Finland. Coeliacs are two a penny and most menus are marked up with a nice big 'G' for things for them to eat. Wine is very expensive so I stuck to cider - some were really strong and smelly, and others concerned me that I'd just paid 5 euros for an Appletise. Apparently the banana beer was nice too, it certainly smelt fanatastic.

Chippy Whips

It's a bloody good job I don't drive or own a car for that matter.

If I did, I would drive myself over to the other side of Reading every Monday night to the Deep Blue fish and chip shop and buy cod in batter in gigantic proportions.

Every single Monday night I am acutely aware that not far away by car, there is a whole fryer dedicated to gluten free battered cod and chips. I never even ate fish and chips that much anyway - surely they should just be an occasional treat, but now they're suddenly an absolute luxury. It occupies my mind and I start scheming to get there, exploring the options...

I could get the bus and eat them on the way back. I should buy a bike and ride there, but will I get them home before they go cold? I might just run there and scoff them in the street.

I really ought learn to drive, no matter how much driving lessons cost or the fact I once failed the theory test - this time I have a reason to pass.

BlOggy blOggy blOggy...

In Plymouth, pasties are considered as one of the major food groups. I grew up on Ivor Dewdneys, later progressed onto Oggy Oggy, and then found the perfect pasty in the West Cornwall Pasty Co.

I used to take my pasties seriously. I’d complain if one had peas in – not a proper pasty. If the crust was on the top, and not the side – it’s just not a proper pasty. It may seem trivial, but there have been wars over pasties.

Alas, I will never again walk down Royal Parade in Plymouth eating a steaming Dewdneys pasty out of a paper bag. It’s a sad fact, but one that will probably improve my waistline, not to mention my social decorum.

So what of the gluten free pasty alternatives? I honestly can’t bring myself to try them. It would almost be disrespectful to my Westcountry past, to the pasty pioneers, the miners of Cornwall and my mum’s fantastic pasty pie.

I live in Reading now, I’ve moved on and have bid farewell to most Devon culinary customs (with the exception of clotted cream on cornflakes naturally).